How to Start a Good Conversation 5 Tips
Starting a conversation with someone is probably one of the hardest parts of communication. You may find that you can talk to some people instantly, while talking to others is like pulling teeth. But don't worry -- there are a few universal tricks that will help you start a good conversation with almost anyone, and a few tips for starting conversations with specific people. If you want to know how to start a good conversation, just follow these steps.
Start a Good Conversation with Anyone
Make the person feel like you care. You can turn a total stranger into a friend just by making him feel like you care about what he has to say and that his opinion matters to you. If the person thinks you're talking just to hear your own voice, he'll be turned off immediately. Instead, turn your body and focus toward that person and maintain eye contact without being too intense. Give the person enough personal space, but show that the person has your attention.
Make the person feel like his thoughts are important. If he begins to talk about a subject, ask more questions about it instead of talking about something that you really want to talk about.
Use the person's name once or twice after you learn it.
If the person talks first, nod intently to show that you're listening
Ask questions without interrogating the person. Many a good conversation begins with questions but the person you're talking to should not feel as if he's being interviewed at a police station. Do not fire questions at the person without giving your feedback and actually conversing with him or her. Nothing is worse than feeling like you're getting the third degree. Asking too many questions will only make the other person feel uncomfortable and will leave him finding a way out of the conversation.
If you realize that you've been asking too many questions, make a joke about it. Say, "Sorry -- the interview is over," and move on to talking about something else.
Ask the person about his hobbies or interests, not about his dreams and desires.
Talk about something fun. Don't ask the person what he thinks about the latest tragedy on the news or how much he's had to work overtime recently. Make the person enjoy the subject of the conversation as well as the conversation itself
Be funny. This doesn't mean that you have to do a stand-up routine but just throw in some jokes and tell them a funny story to break the ice. You'll be surprised at how sharing funny stories will get others to open up. Everyone likes to laugh and laughing makes others feel comfortable. This is a nice way to lighten up those tense people and to get them talking.
Use your wit to get the person's attention. Show that you're quick on your feet and are comfortable with wordplay, clever jokes, and general banter.
If you have a killer funny story, use it, as long as it's short. Don't tell a long story you haven't tried out before or you may fall flat on your face.
Ask open ended questions. Open ended questions are questions that require more than a yes or no for an answer. Open ended questions allow people to elaborate and this creates conversation. You are drawing the person out and making him part of a conversation. Open ended questions bring growth to a conversation as opposed to questions with yes or no answers.
Make sure the questions is open-ended enough. Don't ask the person about what he thinks is the meaning of life; just ask what he thinks of the Lakers' season this year.
You should also know when the conversation isn't going well. If someone is giving you yes or no answers to questions that require more of a response, then that person may not be that interested in talking to you.
Know what not to do. There are a few ways to kill any good conversation before it has time to blossom. If you want to know how to start a good conversation, then there are a few basic things you should avoid right from the beginning.
Don't reveal overly-personal information. Don't talk about your painful breakup, the weird rash on your back, or how you're starting to wonder if anyone in your life really loves you. You can save that for people who actually know you well.
Don't ask the person something that could lead to an uncomfortable response. Let the person talk about his significant other, career, or health. Don't ask if the person is dating someone only to find that he's recently had his heart broken.
Don't spend the whole time talking about yourself. Though poking fun at yourself and offering some personal information can put the other person at ease, if you're droning on and on about how great you are or what you're going to have for breakfast the next day, the person will quickly lose interest.
Pay attention. Don't forget the person's name, job, or any important information the person reveals after five minutes. This will make the person feel like you don't care at all. When the person says his name, repeat it aloud so you're more likely to remember it.
